Aunt Michelle, Max, and I hung out at my dad's for a bit this morning. We finished the end of She's the Man, gave Max another bath, showered, and held Max. Then we went to Little Mexico, again, for lunch. We shared half order of cheese nachos and a cheese quesedilla. We figured even though we just went last night, it is just as fast and cheap as any fast food place, but better tasting food and a much better atmosphere. We talked about raising a baby. It is so much work, and money, and time, and neither of us understand how such young girls become moms. I myself, can not wait until the day I have my own little one, but there is no way I could do it now! We also talked about our bad dreams from last night. It was awful. She dreamed she left Max in the car, which she would never ever do because she loves him so much and there is no way she would ever forget about him no matter how busy she was or how much she had on her mind. I had a dream, again, that all my teeth fell out. I do not think either of our dreams will ever come true, thank goodness!
We went to Kato and Game Stop before going back home. I love the way my aunt asks the workers of clothing stores for opinions. Because it is helpful and probably interesting for them.
Then, we hung out for a little more at my dad's. She packed up and fed Max. Then Sarah came over! She likes babies, but doesn't like to hold them because she is scared of hurting them. I could see where she gets the fear, but I just don't understand it. We made her hold Max. I know she liked it. He is so cute and didn't cry. I love holding him. It is just so amazing. I love how he is just like me. His body does everything mine does, it is just packed inside a littler body.
Aunt Michelle and Max left, which was sad. I will really miss them. I already have, all day. I am so glad I got to hang out with them-so glad she invited me and so glad I was available to. This weekend I have seen such a great mom in action, and it keeps making me think back to the chapter Shauna Niequist wrote called Happy Mother's Day in her book Bittersweet.
"So if you're a mom, and your kids are grown, and you've been through this drill before, those of us who are still in the day to day of very hands-on parenting really need your help. If you see someone like me in the baby aisle at Target or church or in your neighborhood, we really are every bit as desperate as we look, and we could use some help. And a nap. And a shower. But mostly, just a little help."
Sarah and I left too. We picked up Bailey and went to Walmart. We bought white shirts and tank tops and red fabric paint. And we had to wait in line forever. If we were at Target, we wouldn't have had that problem.
Then, we went to Clancy's. We went upstairs to her mom's studio and got to work on our tank tops that we are going to wear to the state baseball game on Saturday. I fell in love. Not only with the fun time I had with my friends, but with my surroundings. Everywhere I looked there was paint and paintbrushes and markers and started pieces and creative sayings and pictures and inspiration.
It clearly helped me, as I quickly came up with a design that I am very proud of. I made a template for the other girls, as well as myself to use. But I ended up doing three out of the four shirts anyways.
When starting a project like that, you just have to dive in and go. Trust and believe in yourself. I would love to be some sort of artist. I would love to be a photographer or work with ceramics or design posters or logos or tshirts or paint or draw or anything. I would absolutely love to have a studio all of my own, or even one to share. Just a place to be able to work and lay out all of my stuff. Being there, made me think of another passage written by Shauna Niequist, but this time from her book Cold Tangerines. From the chapter titled Needle and Thread. We waited for the paint to dry so we could do the back, but it never did. We sat around and listened to music and talked alot and texted and popped each others backs and took the nail polish off our nails until it was time to go. We talked about boys and the game and vacations. I love getting time to just sit around and have good conversations.
"It matters, art does, so deeply. It's one of the most noblest things, because it can make us better, and one of the scariest things, because it comes from such a deep place inside of us." "Do something creative every day, even if you work in a cubicle, even if you have a newborn, even if someone told you a long time ago that you're not an artist, or you can't sing, or you have nothing to say. Those people are bad people, and liars, and we hope they develop adult-onset acne really bad. Everyone has something to say. Everyone. Because every person was made by God, in the image of God. If he is a creator, and in fact he is, then we are creators, and no one, not a bad seventh grade English teacher or harsh critic or jealous competitor, can take that away from you."
Sarah dropped me off at my dad's and I drove to my mom's where I have been the rest of the night. I told them my stories of the past few days. Then I sat outside and blogged.
I wasn't really hungry, so for dinner I ate watermelon, grapes, and rice. I love all the foods and smells and sights and sounds of summer.
After dinner, I watched Jeopardy with my mom and Dan. I like watching it when I know the categories, and the answers to some of the questions, but tonight that didn't seem to be quite the case. I also jumped on the trampoline.
I showered after that. Since then, I have been sitting in Maria's room. Blogging. And texting. And singing along to Taylor Swift. I really should have been working on the scrapbook, but I guess I can do that now. And maybe some tomorrow. I'd really like to sleep, but am excited to get to continue to create. I will take my own advice, and just trust in myself and start.
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